l i v i n g . w i t h . G o d . i n . m y . l i f e

- a b o u t . m e -

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


"I'm a dreamer,
Take me higher,
Open the skies up,
Start a fire!"

Its all so easy to forget God wants to be involved in EVERY part of our lives. That includes the imminent exam period. T minus 1 hour until 2 weeks of stress, sleepless nights, lots of caffeine and tea officially begin. I want and NEED God to be at the center of this time, of my life.

So, start a fire ... let my heart burn with a passion to serve and honor You in all I do.

If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 4:11 NIV


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Sunday, January 11, 2009


Please tell me you'll fight this fight
I can't see without your light
I need you to breathe into my life
Don't tell me this is goodbye
I won't grieve - it's not yet time
Each breath breathed is keeping hope alive

Where are you?


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Thursday, January 01, 2009


  There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven:

  a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,

  a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,

  a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,

  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

  a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,

  a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,

  a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-14

I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God!!!!!!

Happy New Year to you all! Be happy and do good =) 

On a side note ... check out this Sara Bareilles tune below ... its abit depressing, but its stunning! And what a voice! How can anyone have lungs that big?!



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Saturday, December 27, 2008


Its always so awesome to get reminded by God of the most little things ...

 11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
      Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
1 Kings 19:11-12

God is always present. We just have to look out for Him!



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Sunday, December 14, 2008


Here goes another blog. And once again, I'm doing this on the fly so I apologise if it doesn't "flow."

There's so much I could say, but once again I don't know where to start. So here comes a random starting point!! Humble servitude. It was nice to come back to Cardiff and go to church this morning with the preacher speaking about Paul's example of service. Something to strive for! But then ... when do we get a chance to stop? I'm really tired. I've been busy pretty much flat out (bar a few days I took off because I needed to) over the past weeks, doing random stuff for hall and keeping on top of my academic work. I looked forward to coming home, to Cardiff and getting away from all the busyness etc that was in Bristol. I was so tired I nearly fell asleep whilst driving. Driving back yesterday was not the best idea!! Anywhoos ... to sum a long story short, things didn't get much better when I got home. I stop off at the shop, as I usually do, to say hi to my parents because I knew that as soon as I got home home, I'd be hitting the zzs pretty rapidly. What I did not expect was the second sentence from my mum to be, "could you give us a hand?"

Saturday really sucked for a number of  reasons. I have made a bunch of really good friends in Manor Hall and we were all on our separate ways home. I've only really known these guys for just under 3 months, and they're some of the most important people to me. It sounds really stupid! But I really do thank God for placing these people in my life. They manage to put a smile on my face regardless of how I'm feeling and even though I won't tell them if I'm doing ok or not (because I'll tell them I'm doing ok regardless), its still nice that they ask. I also realise that it was going to (possibly) be my last Christmas in Bristol. Well ... its not so much Bristol, but Manor Hall. Manor has become my home away from home. I'm already dreading the day I have to leave Manor, with no guarantee of going back.

But, I did manage to have a really nice chat to one of these friends that I have made. It made me realise alot of things about myself. Why do I put all these barriers around myself? Why do I not allow myself to become close to someone else? Why do I hold myself back in the relationships I make?
I'm pretty sure I've blogged about this before, but I always say I'm ok regardless of how I really am inside. Ok well I tell a lie, sometimes I say, "I'll be fine," which is true because eventually I will be! Regardless of how much I want to be superman and be able to cope and deal with anything, I know that I'm not. So why do I strive to be so? I know that there are people around me that genuinely care for me, but yet I don't allow them in to see the me inside.

This good friend of mine really highlighted something to me (as we were on the subject). How can I enter a romantic relationship with someone if I'm unwilling to share my deepest emotions with them? Then brings another question, would I still hold these barriers up if I was to enter a romantic relationship?

You know what ... I need to ask myself, how would I treat my opposite in a romantic relationship? How would it be different from how I treat her before we, in crude terms, "hook up." Actually, having just though about it I know I'd  treat her differently. Because I know that with people that I have romantic feelings for, I now put up more barriers around myself. In an attempt to look at the friendships that I've made with people, the one that I may have romantic feelings for, I feel as if I've put the most barriers up to how I'm feeling inside, aside from the knowledge that they may know about my feelings for them. Does that make sense? Trying to look from the outside, sometimes I feel as if I'm holding out a hand, not letting this person get too close to me. I fear what may happen if I take my hand down and allow myself and the other person get too close (not in any physical sense ... emotionally I mean).

I know we should look to God for our answers. I do and I have been. But what happens when it feels as if God's voice is being drowned by the world's voice? A decision needs to be made, but what if there is no, "moral high ground?"  Do I just take the plunge and have to trust God will fish us out if it ends up a disaster? One thing is for sure, I don't want to ever regret doing something or not doing something. Man ... my head is going around in circles now!

I'm tired. I'm tired of serving others. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of trying to find a time and space for myself. Psalm 46.



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